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, Indiana

I need my husband

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I’m a 47-year-old U.S. citizen who married the most wonderful man who happens to be from Mexico. We met each other in 2005 and got married in 2010. My husband has been in the U.S. for about 20 years. When we married, we went through the processes and all the red tape to get an interview set up in Cuidad Juarez, Mexico. My husband has never had any sort of criminal record. The U.S. issued him a T.I.N. number, and he was able to work under his name and T.I.N. number; he speaks English and paid his taxes. We even got married in our church, and were issued a marriage license. We never thought that he would be denied his waiver during the interview. He was denied on the fact that he entered the U.S. illegally and stayed for more than one year. I fell into endless confusion due to the number of people who were given the waivers, stereotypes and prejudices aside, that were clearly a part of gangs or cartels.

My husband has now been in Mexico since May 2012, living with his mother in a remote area. Living resources are scarce. There was no water in their village for two weeks once. Food qualities are poor and there is no transportation to get to the closest city. Most importantly, he has no job. He was hospitalized in a critical state with Hemorrhagic Dengue Fever from a Mosquito bite.

I am staying in the U.S. and trying to support our home, vehicle and other financial responsibilities. Since my husband has been gone, I’m struggling to maintain the care of my ailing elderly parents after work and on the weekends, especially since my father’s health problem has gotten worse.

We each have two kids from previous marriages, and they are all grown up and living on their own. However, my daughter is in a difficult time, and she and her two children are living with me. They are all depending on my income. Now, I’m taking care of five people, and I have to sell my little assets to make sure that we all can survive. I send my husband money as often as I can, in addition to supporting my daughter and her two kids, and paying for an attorney for our unfortunate case.

These major depressions in my daily life are affecting my personality and my work ability. I have become short tempered and anxious even when performing some daily activities, such getting gas and going to the grocery store. I prefer to be alone, and hate to be around other people. I am consistently getting migraines and a rash all over my body because of these pressures. I always question the reasons that I stay here. It’s heart-wrenching to listen to the cries of my little grandson when he asks for his Grandpa. He often wants to see the pictures of his Grandpa on my phone. He sits there, with his chin on his elbow, and looks sad.

This is just a little tiny glimpse of my pain. We now have another grandson who has never met his Grandpa. My father has just had a critical surgery, and by the grace of God he came through fine, but it’s hard to think of those difficult moments during the surgery.

I need my husband, my best friend, here beside me, to share our lives together as we took that oath under God. I firmly believe in God’s word, ‘not to let any man or law tear apart what God has brought together as one’. My ancestors didn’t originate from the United States, and neither did more than 1/2 of the Americans’ here now. It’s so easy to sit back and judge the race that has been so badly stereotyped, judged, discriminated against like no other. It makes me sick to my stomach when seeing the myths of them being all criminals, and made to be less than “White” people. Most Hispanics I know can speak two languages; they are hard workers who don’t rely on the “system”. They are honest, pay taxes, and take care of their families. You can hear the United States in the news talking about getting away from discrimination, bullying and hate crimes. Yet those problems are happening right in front of our eyes. The discrimination, bullying and hate crimes are taking place at the cost of the Hispanics and it’s causing huge problems for them and their families.

The U.S. needs to practice what is being preached. It’s clear that in every race there are people who are involved in criminal activities-not just Hispanics. As a U.S. citizen, I have the right to speak up for what has been violated. Why do I have to be told who I can fall in love with and who I can’t fall in love with? Why would the government give my husband a T.I.N. number and a marriage license but then tell him to leave the country? People need to be educated and walk a mile in the shoes of others before passing judgment on others. Might I also add, do not judge unless you want to be judged as harshly as others when the time comes.